After my first birth had ended with a c-section I was left feeling devastated. Sure, I had a healthy baby and according to everyone else that was all that matter. But still I felt like my body had failed me. The one thing women are meant to do, and I couldn't do it. The next year I battled a painful recovery. I had many doctors appointments and ultrasounds to try and figure out why I was still in so much pain.

    A year later in early October 2003 I found out we were expecting baby #2. I was determined to have the birth experience that my baby and I deserved. My first thought was to have a homebirth, but my husband and his fears quickly dismissed the idea. We agreed that I would see the Midwives at our regular doctors office. Each visit felt like a power struggle. Mention of a repeat c-section seemed to come up at every visit. I stood my ground and let them know there was no way I was giving in without a fight. I refused to sign anything giving premission for them to section me. I told them I would deal with the possible of a c-section when and if my baby was in danger.

    On June 17, 2004 I went to my weekly prenatal visit. Since I had not yet delivered talk of a repeat C-section come up again. I was told that at 41 weeks my baby would suddenly die and that they were going to go ahead and schedule my C-section. I cried and told them there was no way I was going to show up on the scheduled day. My urine test had shown signs of a UTI and I was given a prescription. I was so upset after leaving that I didn't even look at the script. We had it filled on the way home. I had lunch and took one of the pills they had gave me.

It was about 1:00pm and I was still upset from my appointment I decided to go lay down and watch tv. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I got up told Nick (DH) and then went and checked the prescription my midwife gave me. Once I noticed it was just like the penicillin(which I am allergic to) I called her and she told me to go to the ER. So, I called my mother to come watch Noah (DS) and Nick and I went.  When we got there another midwife came down and told me that she wanted to monitor me in Labor and Delivery. When we got up to LD  the monitors picked up that I was contracting. She asked if she could check me and I said ok. I was at one, almost 2. She told my cervix was favorable and that I should go walk around and see if I could get the contractions to pick up a bit more. As soon as we started walking I could feel them coming. We walked for about an hour and then she came back and checked me (this was at about 6:30) she said that I was 2 and that she was going to admit me and break my water, If I was ok with that, I was. So we got settled in our room at about 7ish and I was feeling the contractions, but still not really strong. She broke my water at about 8pm,  and that's when the contractions really started to pick up. She checked me at nine and I was at 4. I decided that I wanted to get out of the bed and rock in the chair. I did that for about half hour and then had to go to the bathroom. The contractions seemed to be so much easier while sitting on the toilet, so I decided to stay there awhile.  At about 10:35 I decided to go back and lay in the bed. My midwife told me to let her know when I felt like I needed to push. I told her I just felt like I had to poop. She said that's what we were waiting for and checked me again. I was fully dilated and effaced. She told me that I could try a practice push. On the first push I brought his head all the way down, she told me I had to wait to push again, so that she could go get a nurse for the baby. I pushed a few more times and she told me I could stop now. I said "really?" and she said "yes, the baby's already out." I had no episiotomy or tears, so no stitches. Ethan Nicholas was born at 11:07pm weighing 8lbs even and was 19 1/4 inches. He looked just like his big brother.
            I feel normal again and can't believe how easy my recovery was compared to having a section with Noah. I'm so glad I got to have the birth I wanted.